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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

TOP 5 WAYS TO LOSE YOUR GIRL TO ME AROUND VALENTINES DAY

Hey, it's me again.

The guy who spent Valentine's weekend with your girl.

I know its not that cool to talk to you, but Im trying to make a change for 2010. No longer will I shun the gameless for not knowing.  Imma try to do my part to help you cats figure out how to keep your female.  Consider it a public service, since obviously some of you need help.

Now...

There are a great many things women tell me about their men from the confidence of my bedroom.  Though those things pale in comparison to the acts of lunacy I witness you guys commit first-hand.  Remember, I'm with your girl every time you aren't.  And if you don't believe it, you know for a fact that its not me, or "your girl is not the cheating type," just know that (A)... if you commit some of the follies I list here I prolly have not met her yet and its only a matter of time, and (B)... if its not me, the other guy and I probably share a lot of commonalities and they would agree that these type of boyfriends usually sabotage their own relationships... sometimes without knowing it.

Then we get your "quality time". 
 You get the couch.

Here are the top 5 ways you can run your girl into my arms...

1) Smothering

If you are one of those guys that is trying to be around your girl 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, 366 days a leap year, get it through your head right now... you are suffocating your female.  She needs her alone time too.  Follow me here... once a woman starts enjoying her away games more than her home games, she will start to think about moving the team... and much like the city of Seattle you will be left with an empty arena while I have court-side seats to your girl's amateur night on the pole in Oklahoma City.  Catch my drift?

I was with this girl whose man called 46 times in 6 hours and sent 22 texts.  Now you may say "SICK, MAYBE HE KNEW YOU 2 WERE TOGETHER & THATS WHY HE WAS CALLING & TEXTING SO MUCH!" <<~~Well if that is the case any real man who knew his woman was with me would spend less time dialing & more time packing up his shit at the house.  And if there was no house to move out of, the real man would be sexting the new bitch not texting the old one.  So no. He was tryna handcuff a girl who knew how to pick locks.

 2) Ignoring

This is the one I see the most often, mainly because out in that jungle we call the dating world, the females are the Needapotamus'. They need attention, they need time.  Guys, you know what kind of woman you have.  If your woman wants to be all up under you, and you can't handle it, you have a tough decision to make.  To me, ain't nuthin wrong with being willingly pussy-whipped, long as you are there by choice, not because you lack the knowledge of your options.  Just know though, when you slack, and she is not getting her attention tank topped off, she will have something to complain about, and if it means pussy I have no problem listening to your girl complain about you while she gets her fill of me.

3) Cheating

This one is self explanatory. If you play the game, play the game fair. That way when you get caught there are no hard feelings.  And if your girl is cheating with me and ur still with her, ask yourself if you are genuinely happy at home.  If you are, shut the fuck up and gimmie daps when you see me.  Matter of fact cover half them hotel costs lol...

4) Boring

Lately I am seeing a lot more of this, prolly because of the recession and times are tighter.  But thats women for you.  Most all of them are just trying to have fun, and its no fun hanging out with someone who is broke & cant afford to go anywhere.  This is where your imagination is directly proportionate to your amount of game.  

If you can keep a female entertained with no money in your pockets, having it will essentially mean nothing. Plus, women tend to fall for a man's mannerisms anyway, meaning if you are creative and cool you will beat out some rich douchebagg any day of the week. Not me though, so stay creative.

5) Annoying

Annoying, much like smothering, is a very simple thing to understand.  When you are talking to your girl on the phone and she is giving you hints that she would rather be doing something else, yet you stay on the phone, chances are you are annoying her.  Maybe not smothering her but definitely annoying her.  If you are in person and you keep asking for permission, saying please, asking her what she would like to do, all while she keeps looking off into the distance, images of greased up men on white sandy beaches dancing in her head, you need to take the hint and get back to what you were doing when you 2 first hooked up.  She started dating you for the man you were, not the man you have become.  Get back to being interesting, or I will get your girl on her  back by being interesting... ya diiig?

Well thats it.

If you need further help, holla!
~Sick
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